Who I Am
These are my true thoughts...
My Past
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
Favorite Websites
albinoblacksheep.com
www.myspace.com
www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com
Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Hard Judging
Today I had Solo and Ensemble at Merrill. I didn't have a lot of fun and that's mostly because I was sick, no, all because I was sick and my shoes were evil wenches and gave me nasty blisterage. My first event was clarinet choir, which sucked (sorry if that offended anyone) and we got a 1st, then I had woodwind ensemble, which I thought was a lot better but not as good as we could've done and we got a 1st on that.
Last I had my duet with Job at, almost the end of the day (we were the 2nd to last to perform in that room) and I was just completely dead. I couldn't blow very hard because my throat was killing me and I was all phlemy (sorry, it's gross, I know), and coughing with no voice. So we made it through the 1st movement fine although I know the fortes (f) and fortissimos (ff) would've been tons better had I been healthy. Then the second movement... I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through and I didn't, I just started hacking and tried not to gag so then I asked in a barely there, squeaky voice to start where we left off and at first Job had no idea what we were doing but then we started again and he got it. After that I made it through the rest of the song and started hacking again.
Then the judge, Keith Olsen came up to us to talk to us, give us our critique and he was amazed by my tonguing on clarinet and my clarity even though I had a horrible cold. He only said we needed to make the f's and ff's louder but he understood that I couldn't put a lot of air through my throat because of my cold.
As soon as I got out of the room I gave Job my clarinet and said I had to use the bathroom. I ended up going all the way downstairs because I couldn't find it upstairs and then I just started hacking and my stomach got all knotted, I gagged, and yea... kind of got sick but I didn't make a mess and I felt kind of better after but I felt really bad that I had to stop in the second movement. I found my mom and Job and went to my sister's woodwind quintet only to realize in my rush to the bathroom that I had left my backpack back in the room. I had, by then burst out into tears because I felt horrible (emotionally and physically) thinking I'd screwed up my chances of state by hacking in the middle of the piece and also being upset about getting sick. Then Job went back to our room and got the backpack and just made it in the room before the door was closed.
Then we just relaxed listening to the quintet, which wasn't bad at all just a little off because of the restricted practice due to the hectic schedules(they ended up getting a 2nd). Then a nice bus ride in the back with Kt Barbian, Hooker, Job, and me to the RHS and to where I now sit, in the comfort of my usually uncomfortable pc chair.
Today I had Solo and Ensemble at Merrill. I didn't have a lot of fun and that's mostly because I was sick, no, all because I was sick and my shoes were evil wenches and gave me nasty blisterage. My first event was clarinet choir, which sucked (sorry if that offended anyone) and we got a 1st, then I had woodwind ensemble, which I thought was a lot better but not as good as we could've done and we got a 1st on that.
Last I had my duet with Job at, almost the end of the day (we were the 2nd to last to perform in that room) and I was just completely dead. I couldn't blow very hard because my throat was killing me and I was all phlemy (sorry, it's gross, I know), and coughing with no voice. So we made it through the 1st movement fine although I know the fortes (f) and fortissimos (ff) would've been tons better had I been healthy. Then the second movement... I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it through and I didn't, I just started hacking and tried not to gag so then I asked in a barely there, squeaky voice to start where we left off and at first Job had no idea what we were doing but then we started again and he got it. After that I made it through the rest of the song and started hacking again.
Then the judge, Keith Olsen came up to us to talk to us, give us our critique and he was amazed by my tonguing on clarinet and my clarity even though I had a horrible cold. He only said we needed to make the f's and ff's louder but he understood that I couldn't put a lot of air through my throat because of my cold.
As soon as I got out of the room I gave Job my clarinet and said I had to use the bathroom. I ended up going all the way downstairs because I couldn't find it upstairs and then I just started hacking and my stomach got all knotted, I gagged, and yea... kind of got sick but I didn't make a mess and I felt kind of better after but I felt really bad that I had to stop in the second movement. I found my mom and Job and went to my sister's woodwind quintet only to realize in my rush to the bathroom that I had left my backpack back in the room. I had, by then burst out into tears because I felt horrible (emotionally and physically) thinking I'd screwed up my chances of state by hacking in the middle of the piece and also being upset about getting sick. Then Job went back to our room and got the backpack and just made it in the room before the door was closed.
Then we just relaxed listening to the quintet, which wasn't bad at all just a little off because of the restricted practice due to the hectic schedules(they ended up getting a 2nd). Then a nice bus ride in the back with Kt Barbian, Hooker, Job, and me to the RHS and to where I now sit, in the comfort of my usually uncomfortable pc chair.
Mandy ~ 5:33 PM
Friday, February 11, 2005
Why Do I Try?
So today I just had to be stupid and give up the rest of my ski season just because of a little... pain. On Tuesday when I raced at Ashwabay during my Super G run I tucked really far and I felt my hip pop. I payed no attention to it but there was a slight, dull pain. I just told myself it was a pulled muscle or cramp and didn't say anything about it. Well, my hip progressively got worse until today I couldn't stand it anymore and I went to the trainer today after school and she told me it might be broken or something and that I should immediately go to the walk-in clinic. I called home and my dad picked me up and took me to the ER where they took x-rays and found out-no break. But, I had tendonitis which lasts anywhere from 2-3 weeks with treatment and that meant I was off the ski team. So I guess it doesn't matter that I'm failing Spanish because I'm done. Have a nice night.
So today I just had to be stupid and give up the rest of my ski season just because of a little... pain. On Tuesday when I raced at Ashwabay during my Super G run I tucked really far and I felt my hip pop. I payed no attention to it but there was a slight, dull pain. I just told myself it was a pulled muscle or cramp and didn't say anything about it. Well, my hip progressively got worse until today I couldn't stand it anymore and I went to the trainer today after school and she told me it might be broken or something and that I should immediately go to the walk-in clinic. I called home and my dad picked me up and took me to the ER where they took x-rays and found out-no break. But, I had tendonitis which lasts anywhere from 2-3 weeks with treatment and that meant I was off the ski team. So I guess it doesn't matter that I'm failing Spanish because I'm done. Have a nice night.
Mandy ~ 5:21 PM
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Giving Up
Solo and Ensemble is beyond me. I'll just stick to my duet with Job and maybe the clarinet choir and woodwind choir and call it a day. Today Kaitlin informed me that Mrs. Peterson wanted to talk to us after school. I was and wasn't shocked. In a way I knew she'd find some reason to keep us from doing our S n E singing events. I refused to give her any satisfaction by begging to keep my events so I just said 'I understand'. Whereas Kaitlin pleaded her case by saying she had been working it out at home and she'd given her tape to her and was waiting so she could faithfully practice at home and the reason she hasn't signed up for slots was because the first excuse Mrs. P tried to use was she had too many kids and Kaitlin was being considerate in not taking away their precious time slots to practice.
That was my chance to prove to them that I was just as good (or better) than Sarah, Danielle, and Katie (Mrs. P's lovely little Shodags). Lovely isn't my choice word for them but their facade of popularity has eluded them a real life so far. I'll await patiently for their debut into the real world when they go off to another city and college and find out they aren't all wonderful goddesses of song after all. For any who've heard how Amber (McReynolds) was turned down for the Madison chorus they'll enjoy a good laugh.
Solo and Ensemble is beyond me. I'll just stick to my duet with Job and maybe the clarinet choir and woodwind choir and call it a day. Today Kaitlin informed me that Mrs. Peterson wanted to talk to us after school. I was and wasn't shocked. In a way I knew she'd find some reason to keep us from doing our S n E singing events. I refused to give her any satisfaction by begging to keep my events so I just said 'I understand'. Whereas Kaitlin pleaded her case by saying she had been working it out at home and she'd given her tape to her and was waiting so she could faithfully practice at home and the reason she hasn't signed up for slots was because the first excuse Mrs. P tried to use was she had too many kids and Kaitlin was being considerate in not taking away their precious time slots to practice.
That was my chance to prove to them that I was just as good (or better) than Sarah, Danielle, and Katie (Mrs. P's lovely little Shodags). Lovely isn't my choice word for them but their facade of popularity has eluded them a real life so far. I'll await patiently for their debut into the real world when they go off to another city and college and find out they aren't all wonderful goddesses of song after all. For any who've heard how Amber (McReynolds) was turned down for the Madison chorus they'll enjoy a good laugh.
Mandy ~ 3:43 PM
Sunday, February 06, 2005
You and I Both
This is a really good song... Jason Mraz's 'You and I Both'. So anyway I'm going to post happy today because rarely are my posts that happy... it always seems the bad overwhelms the good so even when I am good I rarely ever post about it. To begin I was sick all weekend but I think I'm better and even though I didn't get to see my hunny I'm still ok. I just need him so much and with everything that's going on...
Ok, this may not be all happy afterall. It's just everyone's being a jerk to me about my relationship with Job and how affectionate we are in public. A part of me wants to agree and say we could tone it down but the fact is it isn't that easy. You look at other couples who 'tone it down' and it always seems their relationship grows steadily worse as they grow less affectionate.
I just don't want that fate with Job and me and I, I'm torn. I want to please everyone but Job means more than the world to me. So, shouldn't that be it? Just tell everyone else to just fuck off? Tell them I don't care because they'd do the same if they were in my situation. Job and I aren't the first couple to happen upon RHS but it sure as hell seems like it. Everyone's bitching about it and mostly to other people behind our backs. OR GOING TO ZUNKER and getting us in a lot of trouble. I'm not even allowed to hold his hand in the band room anymore.
WHY DO YOU PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH? LIVE YOUR OWN LIVES AND STOP CARING ABOUT HOW I LIVE MINE!!!
Job's always been there for me and that's more than I can say for any of you who talk about us like that. My life is far from perfect and you fuckers are making it that much worse. I don't see why I should deny affection from the one who has never denied me. And I don't mean like that for any perverts reading this. I'm two seconds away from just not caring what any of you think anymore because of how upset I am. Job has already stopped caring and it would be that much easier to not give any of you the satisfaction. If you (the ppl who are talking shit) didn't have problems in your lives I know you wouldn't talk out your frustrations on Job and me for showing our happiness. Jealous fuckers.
This is a really good song... Jason Mraz's 'You and I Both'. So anyway I'm going to post happy today because rarely are my posts that happy... it always seems the bad overwhelms the good so even when I am good I rarely ever post about it. To begin I was sick all weekend but I think I'm better and even though I didn't get to see my hunny I'm still ok. I just need him so much and with everything that's going on...
Ok, this may not be all happy afterall. It's just everyone's being a jerk to me about my relationship with Job and how affectionate we are in public. A part of me wants to agree and say we could tone it down but the fact is it isn't that easy. You look at other couples who 'tone it down' and it always seems their relationship grows steadily worse as they grow less affectionate.
I just don't want that fate with Job and me and I, I'm torn. I want to please everyone but Job means more than the world to me. So, shouldn't that be it? Just tell everyone else to just fuck off? Tell them I don't care because they'd do the same if they were in my situation. Job and I aren't the first couple to happen upon RHS but it sure as hell seems like it. Everyone's bitching about it and mostly to other people behind our backs. OR GOING TO ZUNKER and getting us in a lot of trouble. I'm not even allowed to hold his hand in the band room anymore.
WHY DO YOU PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH? LIVE YOUR OWN LIVES AND STOP CARING ABOUT HOW I LIVE MINE!!!
Job's always been there for me and that's more than I can say for any of you who talk about us like that. My life is far from perfect and you fuckers are making it that much worse. I don't see why I should deny affection from the one who has never denied me. And I don't mean like that for any perverts reading this. I'm two seconds away from just not caring what any of you think anymore because of how upset I am. Job has already stopped caring and it would be that much easier to not give any of you the satisfaction. If you (the ppl who are talking shit) didn't have problems in your lives I know you wouldn't talk out your frustrations on Job and me for showing our happiness. Jealous fuckers.
Mandy ~ 7:30 PM