Who I Am
These are my true thoughts...
My Past
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
Favorite Websites
albinoblacksheep.com
www.myspace.com
www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
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Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Emily, I Love You
I feel the same way about you as what I portray and I know the feelings of paranoia that everyone is secretly thinking you're not good enough. I have the trust issues too, and having been used before doesn't help it. Babe, there's nothing I can really say to change your mind but remember that I love you and I want you to be healthy and feel good, no, wonderful about yourself. Feel better hun!
I feel the same way about you as what I portray and I know the feelings of paranoia that everyone is secretly thinking you're not good enough. I have the trust issues too, and having been used before doesn't help it. Babe, there's nothing I can really say to change your mind but remember that I love you and I want you to be healthy and feel good, no, wonderful about yourself. Feel better hun!
Mandy ~ 6:29 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Sickening Dread
Something's seriously wrong and I can't put my finger on it but it's really bad. None of my bad news would upset me this much...
First of all I went to the hospital today to get x-rays for my legs because they felt like they were "compounding" near the middle-top part of my shins and I thought my shin splints were just getting worse. First I went to the trainer yesterday and she said I might have stress fractures from doing triple jump and I kind of just blew it off but I told my mom and the doctor confirmed that I had compound stress fractures today and that I had to ultimately stay off my feet for 3 days and if I had to walk to use crutches.
I'm kind of upset and I'm actually crying right now because I just seem to be a walking injury waiting to happen. I kind of wanted this to be because I missed out on half of my alpine ski season because of my almost fatal crash and I saw this as a way to redeem myself because track was "safe". Track was so much fun and I made so many friends and now I have to quit. I really didn't want to write this in here because I hate the pity but I've been trying to get a hold of Job for the past hour now and because he doesn't have call waiting I can't get through. And I can't tell my parents because they wanted me to quit a long time ago... they're really happy I'm done with track and my dad actually yelled at me for being so stupid and staying in it so long. I just hope the coaches or my team members think this is voluntary because I've been in a lot of pain for a while now (pain killers work miracles) and I didn't want to say anything because of this.
I also can't tell them because we just found out my grandpa has diabetes and he said he wants to die because he's so miserable and I'm really upset about that because I love him and I'm selfish and don't want to lose him. Hell, he's the only grandpa I've ever had... and I asked my parents if I could go out there this weekend and see them because it's been a couple of weeks since I was last out there and my mom just kind of blew it off and my dad said nothing. Mostly I kind of know I'm not going to get to see him again because when my great grandma Rosie got really bad they wouldn't let me see her, my great aunt, Lily, and the same with Lindsey right before she passed away. And I know this might not mean a lot to some of you but I was pretty attached to Job's pets and I never got to say good-bye to Jack or Princess.
I can stand any physical pain but emotionally I'm just too weak. Well I guess it's good to have the bad because without it there's no good, right?
Lastly, I'm so unbelievably sorry that I had to take this out on those of you who were unfortunate enough to read this.
Something's seriously wrong and I can't put my finger on it but it's really bad. None of my bad news would upset me this much...
First of all I went to the hospital today to get x-rays for my legs because they felt like they were "compounding" near the middle-top part of my shins and I thought my shin splints were just getting worse. First I went to the trainer yesterday and she said I might have stress fractures from doing triple jump and I kind of just blew it off but I told my mom and the doctor confirmed that I had compound stress fractures today and that I had to ultimately stay off my feet for 3 days and if I had to walk to use crutches.
I'm kind of upset and I'm actually crying right now because I just seem to be a walking injury waiting to happen. I kind of wanted this to be because I missed out on half of my alpine ski season because of my almost fatal crash and I saw this as a way to redeem myself because track was "safe". Track was so much fun and I made so many friends and now I have to quit. I really didn't want to write this in here because I hate the pity but I've been trying to get a hold of Job for the past hour now and because he doesn't have call waiting I can't get through. And I can't tell my parents because they wanted me to quit a long time ago... they're really happy I'm done with track and my dad actually yelled at me for being so stupid and staying in it so long. I just hope the coaches or my team members think this is voluntary because I've been in a lot of pain for a while now (pain killers work miracles) and I didn't want to say anything because of this.
I also can't tell them because we just found out my grandpa has diabetes and he said he wants to die because he's so miserable and I'm really upset about that because I love him and I'm selfish and don't want to lose him. Hell, he's the only grandpa I've ever had... and I asked my parents if I could go out there this weekend and see them because it's been a couple of weeks since I was last out there and my mom just kind of blew it off and my dad said nothing. Mostly I kind of know I'm not going to get to see him again because when my great grandma Rosie got really bad they wouldn't let me see her, my great aunt, Lily, and the same with Lindsey right before she passed away. And I know this might not mean a lot to some of you but I was pretty attached to Job's pets and I never got to say good-bye to Jack or Princess.
I can stand any physical pain but emotionally I'm just too weak. Well I guess it's good to have the bad because without it there's no good, right?
Lastly, I'm so unbelievably sorry that I had to take this out on those of you who were unfortunate enough to read this.
Mandy ~ 9:23 PM