Who I Am
These are my true thoughts...
My Past
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
Favorite Websites
albinoblacksheep.com
www.myspace.com
www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
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Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To!
Well, not quite but I did cry and it was my b-day on Sunday but no one would know that... My family remembered and Joe sent me an e-card even though I don't recall telling him it was... Things have been and are so difficult and complicated and with the realizations of life it's only been getting worse so I ask of you to 'hit me hard with that heavy a book and maybe a glance will disappear of a look...' Yes, doesn't make any sense but neither does my life so it works for me. The funny thing is, in essence it'd be the volume of the knowledge within the book that would (hopefully) wipe my memory but I fear the same thoughts will still linger, ever threatening without my scape of knowledge to save me from them...
Well, not quite but I did cry and it was my b-day on Sunday but no one would know that... My family remembered and Joe sent me an e-card even though I don't recall telling him it was... Things have been and are so difficult and complicated and with the realizations of life it's only been getting worse so I ask of you to 'hit me hard with that heavy a book and maybe a glance will disappear of a look...' Yes, doesn't make any sense but neither does my life so it works for me. The funny thing is, in essence it'd be the volume of the knowledge within the book that would (hopefully) wipe my memory but I fear the same thoughts will still linger, ever threatening without my scape of knowledge to save me from them...
Mandy ~ 2:13 PM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Daddy's Home
My dad's home and he'll be home for two weeks (at least) and he's wearing this complete brace and if he doesn't get somewhat better in these next two weeks then they're going to do surgery... *sigh*
School is going ok and I'm meeting so many very interesting people who all seem so willing to share their lives with me, which is new as well. I appreciate people.
SO, Mike, what exactly were you trying to prove by posting everyone elses posts? *sigh* Whatever your goal was, the attempt made me smile. And I found something interesting from the post you copied from my old post... *raises one eyebrow in trying to understand herself* Having read it I feel that I can be, at times, intelligent.
...There are problems but what's life without them?...
Sometimes life is so easily complicated and it's the simplifications that get overlooked.
My dad's home and he'll be home for two weeks (at least) and he's wearing this complete brace and if he doesn't get somewhat better in these next two weeks then they're going to do surgery... *sigh*
School is going ok and I'm meeting so many very interesting people who all seem so willing to share their lives with me, which is new as well. I appreciate people.
SO, Mike, what exactly were you trying to prove by posting everyone elses posts? *sigh* Whatever your goal was, the attempt made me smile. And I found something interesting from the post you copied from my old post... *raises one eyebrow in trying to understand herself* Having read it I feel that I can be, at times, intelligent.
...There are problems but what's life without them?...
Sometimes life is so easily complicated and it's the simplifications that get overlooked.
Mandy ~ 5:49 PM
Friday, September 16, 2005
Luck is Saving My Dad
*sigh* It all started when I came downstairs after school and turned on the pc and logged into EQ. My dad said he was going to set up his tree stand but I had a bad feeling so I logged out and shut the pc off and went with him. Well we got there and we ended up walking about 1,000 yds. to the tree he had chosen. It was a sturdy pine tree with a lot of branches. I stayed about 7 feet away from the base in case a branch came down but I definitely wasn't expecting my father, who is an avid hunter and has been since he was a boy to fall. It still feels like it didn't happen but as I heard a crack I watched my father fall 20 feet to the ground.
I thought I was just going to go into shock but I went into immediate first aid and checked him over for life threatening conditions like if he was unconscious, not breathing, bleeding severely, and didn't have a pulse and he was fine for all of those because I could only find minor scratches on his forearms and then I checked his vitals and then his appearance and he wasn't having abnormal breathing patterns, nauseous, pale, or sweating but I could tell he was in shock as he lay, crumpled on the ground, eyes wide open. I asked him to wiggle his feet and did the whole body check and asked where the pain was and he said his legs were fine and nothing was numb so I knew, where he was, that he hadn't severed his backbone and his major appendages were fine.
He was already in the recovery position so that was good and I just continued to talk to him while I tried to think of how I could possibly drag him up a steep hill and through 1,000 yds. of forest. He talked back coherently and I asked about his pain and he said his back felt like he was being stabbed and his stomach hurt. I checked it out and I couldn't see any appearance of abnormality but unless there's a severe break or bleeding you can't really tell if you aren't an ems or doctor.
I took care of the tree stand and chained it to a nearby tree as I monitored him from only a few feet away. I then gathered everything up and called the dog so she knew to stay close. My dad said he could get up and then I slowly helped him into a standing position and I'm so glad I could walk him out even if it was only at a limping pace of 1 or 2 miles an hour. I think it took us a half an hour if not more to just get back to the car.
When we got home nobody was here but he insisted he was fine and I continued to monitor him and set him back in the recliner with two icepacks on his back and the heating pad he requested for his neck, and I got him a codeine pill and a glass of water. I just watched him until Sarah came home with Kate and then my mom came back with my car that had been taken in for bad tires. I told my mom and sisters what happened with clarity and didn't cry.
I didn't even cry when I saw him get a lot worse and he didn't even fight when I got the walker to help him into the car and to the ER, and then my mom took over. It wasn't until at least half an hour later when my mom called that I cried. She said that my daddy was being taken to Marshfield because he'd broken a vertebra and she was crying and she said she couldn't ride in the ambulance but Sarah (who was on the upstairs phone) told her to take the car and go with them so she could be with daddy. I don't know what to do but I'm thankful I got him out of there without paralysis.
I want my daddy.
*sigh* It all started when I came downstairs after school and turned on the pc and logged into EQ. My dad said he was going to set up his tree stand but I had a bad feeling so I logged out and shut the pc off and went with him. Well we got there and we ended up walking about 1,000 yds. to the tree he had chosen. It was a sturdy pine tree with a lot of branches. I stayed about 7 feet away from the base in case a branch came down but I definitely wasn't expecting my father, who is an avid hunter and has been since he was a boy to fall. It still feels like it didn't happen but as I heard a crack I watched my father fall 20 feet to the ground.
I thought I was just going to go into shock but I went into immediate first aid and checked him over for life threatening conditions like if he was unconscious, not breathing, bleeding severely, and didn't have a pulse and he was fine for all of those because I could only find minor scratches on his forearms and then I checked his vitals and then his appearance and he wasn't having abnormal breathing patterns, nauseous, pale, or sweating but I could tell he was in shock as he lay, crumpled on the ground, eyes wide open. I asked him to wiggle his feet and did the whole body check and asked where the pain was and he said his legs were fine and nothing was numb so I knew, where he was, that he hadn't severed his backbone and his major appendages were fine.
He was already in the recovery position so that was good and I just continued to talk to him while I tried to think of how I could possibly drag him up a steep hill and through 1,000 yds. of forest. He talked back coherently and I asked about his pain and he said his back felt like he was being stabbed and his stomach hurt. I checked it out and I couldn't see any appearance of abnormality but unless there's a severe break or bleeding you can't really tell if you aren't an ems or doctor.
I took care of the tree stand and chained it to a nearby tree as I monitored him from only a few feet away. I then gathered everything up and called the dog so she knew to stay close. My dad said he could get up and then I slowly helped him into a standing position and I'm so glad I could walk him out even if it was only at a limping pace of 1 or 2 miles an hour. I think it took us a half an hour if not more to just get back to the car.
When we got home nobody was here but he insisted he was fine and I continued to monitor him and set him back in the recliner with two icepacks on his back and the heating pad he requested for his neck, and I got him a codeine pill and a glass of water. I just watched him until Sarah came home with Kate and then my mom came back with my car that had been taken in for bad tires. I told my mom and sisters what happened with clarity and didn't cry.
I didn't even cry when I saw him get a lot worse and he didn't even fight when I got the walker to help him into the car and to the ER, and then my mom took over. It wasn't until at least half an hour later when my mom called that I cried. She said that my daddy was being taken to Marshfield because he'd broken a vertebra and she was crying and she said she couldn't ride in the ambulance but Sarah (who was on the upstairs phone) told her to take the car and go with them so she could be with daddy. I don't know what to do but I'm thankful I got him out of there without paralysis.
I want my daddy.
Mandy ~ 6:34 PM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Who Knows?
Certainly not I, the one in pjs, sitting at the pc when she knows her place is upstairs, in her room, tucked under those covers. *sigh* That's it... you all know already, I'm sure, but Job and I are no longer together... after 19 months (1 yr 7 months) we are both single and not rdy to mingle. I don't want a bf and I really hope all guys (that have any hopes) to just leave me alone. Mostly, I'm trying to find myself and it's been a while since I've put myself first and honestly, it's a relief but I don't really like it because with being first priority I'm the only and that means I'm lonely because if any of you know me I'm an extreme extrovert, and basically that means I thrive off from relationships, friendship or otherwise as long as they're healthy, haha.
Thanks Katie for talking to me earlier when my family was treating me like crapaholi. That's lesbianastua! That's my new word and it means worse than gay... which is mean but I mean no offense to any homosexuals. Thanks to Job too for being such a wonderful friend and understanding this is what I need right now. Job and I are still good friends and hopefully some day I might realize more but right now I am having some serious personal problems that I need to solve through personal discovery of my own identity.
I'm enjoying college but some of the guys are really gross just like in high school... whoever said guys mature... no offense to any guy friends if I still have any ;( . It's ok if you're not my friends anymore because I don't deserve you. Thanks Mike and Kevin for the hugs after school the other day, I really needed them. Happy b-day Emily! whoo whoo and Mike (even though I already wished you one) *~<(;oP ... don't ask me what that is, it was supposed to be a clown with a funny hat but I suck at keyboard pictures so it kind of looks more like a doobie-smoking, conehead mime... yea. OK, so anyway... that was a little off but what else would it be coming out of me? Jimmy cracked corn so why can I? and there's my new phrase meaning 'I don't care'. ~Jimmy cracked corn so why can't I? ~crapaholi (I'm sure I'm not the first with that one) ~frike (with a long 'i' sound, not frick) ~lesbianastua ~(if someone loses something) I ate it (I've been saying that one for at least a year now) I'm sure a lot of you think I'm extremely annoying, but hey, that just rids me of the ppl who really don't like me and aren't worth having as friends? Wow, I'm really going to have no friends after this blog... I'll just draw me a doobie-smoking conehead mime if I need a friend *~O3:>, if the mouse looks swiggly, he's just dancing... I'm going to have to practice drawing me some friends if I really want them as friends I want them to at least be functional *sigh*
Night All.
Certainly not I, the one in pjs, sitting at the pc when she knows her place is upstairs, in her room, tucked under those covers. *sigh* That's it... you all know already, I'm sure, but Job and I are no longer together... after 19 months (1 yr 7 months) we are both single and not rdy to mingle. I don't want a bf and I really hope all guys (that have any hopes) to just leave me alone. Mostly, I'm trying to find myself and it's been a while since I've put myself first and honestly, it's a relief but I don't really like it because with being first priority I'm the only and that means I'm lonely because if any of you know me I'm an extreme extrovert, and basically that means I thrive off from relationships, friendship or otherwise as long as they're healthy, haha.
Thanks Katie for talking to me earlier when my family was treating me like crapaholi. That's lesbianastua! That's my new word and it means worse than gay... which is mean but I mean no offense to any homosexuals. Thanks to Job too for being such a wonderful friend and understanding this is what I need right now. Job and I are still good friends and hopefully some day I might realize more but right now I am having some serious personal problems that I need to solve through personal discovery of my own identity.
I'm enjoying college but some of the guys are really gross just like in high school... whoever said guys mature... no offense to any guy friends if I still have any ;( . It's ok if you're not my friends anymore because I don't deserve you. Thanks Mike and Kevin for the hugs after school the other day, I really needed them. Happy b-day Emily! whoo whoo and Mike (even though I already wished you one) *~<(;oP ... don't ask me what that is, it was supposed to be a clown with a funny hat but I suck at keyboard pictures so it kind of looks more like a doobie-smoking, conehead mime... yea. OK, so anyway... that was a little off but what else would it be coming out of me? Jimmy cracked corn so why can I? and there's my new phrase meaning 'I don't care'. ~Jimmy cracked corn so why can't I? ~crapaholi (I'm sure I'm not the first with that one) ~frike (with a long 'i' sound, not frick) ~lesbianastua ~(if someone loses something) I ate it (I've been saying that one for at least a year now) I'm sure a lot of you think I'm extremely annoying, but hey, that just rids me of the ppl who really don't like me and aren't worth having as friends? Wow, I'm really going to have no friends after this blog... I'll just draw me a doobie-smoking conehead mime if I need a friend *~O3:>, if the mouse looks swiggly, he's just dancing... I'm going to have to practice drawing me some friends if I really want them as friends I want them to at least be functional *sigh*
Night All.
Mandy ~ 11:02 PM