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Wednesday, May 03, 2006
The Most of the Posts
That'd be Kt... I get second place though! Hmmm, I'll have to do something for her. Saturday night we're going to the play after she gets off from work. Job and I had plans to go to dinner and then to the play but I think we'll be able to work something out because Kt needs me. Mmmm, listening to Evanescence atm... Going Under. I laugh at how I was listening to them before they were even "popular" like 5 or 6 years ago. Booyah. Oh, Imaginary, good song.
Anyway... I'm trying to solve my problems through my mind but I'm not finding any answers. It's quarter to 1 and I promised Job I'd go to sleep before 1 so... Nothing to write anyway.
That'd be Kt... I get second place though! Hmmm, I'll have to do something for her. Saturday night we're going to the play after she gets off from work. Job and I had plans to go to dinner and then to the play but I think we'll be able to work something out because Kt needs me. Mmmm, listening to Evanescence atm... Going Under. I laugh at how I was listening to them before they were even "popular" like 5 or 6 years ago. Booyah. Oh, Imaginary, good song.
Anyway... I'm trying to solve my problems through my mind but I'm not finding any answers. It's quarter to 1 and I promised Job I'd go to sleep before 1 so... Nothing to write anyway.
Mandy ~ 11:50 PM
I Hear Ya Kt
Both my great grandma Rosie and my great aunt Lily went that way... My mom would take me to see Rosie but I never got to see Lily and towards the end, I couldn't see Rosie either and I wanted to. With Lily I was so small but I remember drawing her this card and it took forever and I drew angels on it and a poem and I even used a ruler to make sure it was straight but she never got the card... I was too late and my mom never told me until one day when I found it hidden away in a drawer, unopened. It hurts and I don't have memories with her but rather of that card... I wished I never found it.
With Rosie, I knew what it was like to talk to someone and not have them respond before they passed. I never got closure with Rosie because she suffered a stroke and on a really good day she'd remember you for all of a couple of minutes and then she'd drift off into memories, sleep, or a variety of emotions. I didn't want to reply in a comment to yours like this because it felt rather selfish so instead I'm writing in my blog. I hope it's ok. I'm not trying to make you feel bad just let you know, yes, I have insight into something. Of course, not the same as you but... close.
Lately it's been my only grandpa in the nursing home for the millionth time it seems. He's so strong and he refuses to stay for long but it's taking it's toll on my grandma. She took my grandpa home but he can't really walk and he needs help doing everything... Being fed, the bathroom, baths, getting around, he barely talks, he can't hear anyone else when they talk, and I just miss how he used to be. It's not easy seeing a loved one struggling so much especially when there's nothing you can do aside from just being there for them, visiting them, showing them your love and Katie, you have to remember, however horrible that nursing home was, your grandpa knew you loved him and that's what counts. I'm not saying you missed that just that the visits had a great purpose and when we get old we can only hope for the same from our loved ones.
A nice night to you all.
Both my great grandma Rosie and my great aunt Lily went that way... My mom would take me to see Rosie but I never got to see Lily and towards the end, I couldn't see Rosie either and I wanted to. With Lily I was so small but I remember drawing her this card and it took forever and I drew angels on it and a poem and I even used a ruler to make sure it was straight but she never got the card... I was too late and my mom never told me until one day when I found it hidden away in a drawer, unopened. It hurts and I don't have memories with her but rather of that card... I wished I never found it.
With Rosie, I knew what it was like to talk to someone and not have them respond before they passed. I never got closure with Rosie because she suffered a stroke and on a really good day she'd remember you for all of a couple of minutes and then she'd drift off into memories, sleep, or a variety of emotions. I didn't want to reply in a comment to yours like this because it felt rather selfish so instead I'm writing in my blog. I hope it's ok. I'm not trying to make you feel bad just let you know, yes, I have insight into something. Of course, not the same as you but... close.
Lately it's been my only grandpa in the nursing home for the millionth time it seems. He's so strong and he refuses to stay for long but it's taking it's toll on my grandma. She took my grandpa home but he can't really walk and he needs help doing everything... Being fed, the bathroom, baths, getting around, he barely talks, he can't hear anyone else when they talk, and I just miss how he used to be. It's not easy seeing a loved one struggling so much especially when there's nothing you can do aside from just being there for them, visiting them, showing them your love and Katie, you have to remember, however horrible that nursing home was, your grandpa knew you loved him and that's what counts. I'm not saying you missed that just that the visits had a great purpose and when we get old we can only hope for the same from our loved ones.
A nice night to you all.
Mandy ~ 12:44 AM