Who I Am
These are my true thoughts...
My Past
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
Favorite Websites
albinoblacksheep.com
www.myspace.com
www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
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Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Friday, August 01, 2003
Another Month
Well that just means another day closer until school starts. I don't want to go back to school... where the other students judge you on appearance, gossip if they think you're "below" them, and where there's a set schedule, waking up early, deadlines for everything, tons of homework, actually having to pay attention, putting forth an actual effort... ok I'm definitely not looking forward to that. I could definitely slack off my entire life, sit back, read, and sleep, never seeing friends doesn't effect me that much, and when I get bored it doesn't "kill" me like it does others. First of all I'm a Libra and for anyone who's into astrology that basically means i'm undecisive, lazy, and I have this great tendancy to procrastinate and always wait until the last possible second. That is I'm that way when I do things I don't like but if it's art man I'm dedicated, I'll start a drawing and I can glue myself to it for hours and make sure every detail is there, perfect to me. Although I hate art class because sure, I can get something done in a day (given 6 hours) but I can't be expected to walk in there and for less than an hour and a half get lost in my work and get anywhere. It's like when I have deadlines I suck at making them and when I don't I get it done even faster.
Well enough about that because it upsets me how I am. That's one of the things I'd really like to change about myself is my tendancy to be who I am. Well Ben just informed me I have five minutes to get my ass of the computer. I hate how he can make demands like that and I have to follow them because he's older and he can beat me up. So I still haven't heard from Adam and that makes it 17 days. I talked to Mike last night... I feel so close to him because we're so similiar we relate to each other so well. Compatible might be the word others use... I don't know what to do with this situation because here I have two great guys... Mike is so like me so I can relate so well (as I just said) and Adam is almost nothing like me but I find that exciting because he's this mystery I want to solve although I'm sure he wouldn't let me get too close because he doesn't want to be tied down. Yet somehow I think Adam's more mature because he's older and is that always the case? Now with Mike I can see me having a long relationship and somehow I see that in Adam but I know it's just a fantasy with him... I always go for the bad boys and want to make them love me because then I feel like it means something because they don't give their heart away to any girl. Another reason I think I go for the bad boys is that I feel I can have a fantasy for a while and then they're gone because I won't have to commit and then maybe have to suffer through the pain that goes with it. I want to be in love and yet I want to be safe and somehow when I fall in love I feel safe but then when it's gone I'm crushed and I was never safe all along. Well I'm getting kicked off but this now concludes Mandy's life story...
*And then he says he's going to bed when he just ordered me off the computer for his own use of it*... *she wonders* Oh well, that just means I have more time to write about crap on my mind. Hmmm, when I have a time limit suddenly I have something to write about but when I have all the time in the world nothing comes to mind. Well I'll write that I talked with Jason last night for a few hours on msn. I always enjoy talking to him because no matter what mood he's in he always makes me laugh and we talk about interesting topics. I'm sure I probably already said this but Jason is so nice, caring, polite, considerate, funny, and selfless. He amazes me because I've never met anyone anything like him... the funny thing is he treats me as an equal although he's 23 and I'm only 16. I have this secret wish that Sarah really likes Jason and she's just waiting for the oppurtune time to announce it but I guess I'm just weird that way. It's just that Jason's such a great guy and Sarah needs someone like him but she doesn't like him like that. *sigh* Life is too complicated and if anyone gets a clue please tell me.
Well that just means another day closer until school starts. I don't want to go back to school... where the other students judge you on appearance, gossip if they think you're "below" them, and where there's a set schedule, waking up early, deadlines for everything, tons of homework, actually having to pay attention, putting forth an actual effort... ok I'm definitely not looking forward to that. I could definitely slack off my entire life, sit back, read, and sleep, never seeing friends doesn't effect me that much, and when I get bored it doesn't "kill" me like it does others. First of all I'm a Libra and for anyone who's into astrology that basically means i'm undecisive, lazy, and I have this great tendancy to procrastinate and always wait until the last possible second. That is I'm that way when I do things I don't like but if it's art man I'm dedicated, I'll start a drawing and I can glue myself to it for hours and make sure every detail is there, perfect to me. Although I hate art class because sure, I can get something done in a day (given 6 hours) but I can't be expected to walk in there and for less than an hour and a half get lost in my work and get anywhere. It's like when I have deadlines I suck at making them and when I don't I get it done even faster.
Well enough about that because it upsets me how I am. That's one of the things I'd really like to change about myself is my tendancy to be who I am. Well Ben just informed me I have five minutes to get my ass of the computer. I hate how he can make demands like that and I have to follow them because he's older and he can beat me up. So I still haven't heard from Adam and that makes it 17 days. I talked to Mike last night... I feel so close to him because we're so similiar we relate to each other so well. Compatible might be the word others use... I don't know what to do with this situation because here I have two great guys... Mike is so like me so I can relate so well (as I just said) and Adam is almost nothing like me but I find that exciting because he's this mystery I want to solve although I'm sure he wouldn't let me get too close because he doesn't want to be tied down. Yet somehow I think Adam's more mature because he's older and is that always the case? Now with Mike I can see me having a long relationship and somehow I see that in Adam but I know it's just a fantasy with him... I always go for the bad boys and want to make them love me because then I feel like it means something because they don't give their heart away to any girl. Another reason I think I go for the bad boys is that I feel I can have a fantasy for a while and then they're gone because I won't have to commit and then maybe have to suffer through the pain that goes with it. I want to be in love and yet I want to be safe and somehow when I fall in love I feel safe but then when it's gone I'm crushed and I was never safe all along. Well I'm getting kicked off but this now concludes Mandy's life story...
*And then he says he's going to bed when he just ordered me off the computer for his own use of it*... *she wonders* Oh well, that just means I have more time to write about crap on my mind. Hmmm, when I have a time limit suddenly I have something to write about but when I have all the time in the world nothing comes to mind. Well I'll write that I talked with Jason last night for a few hours on msn. I always enjoy talking to him because no matter what mood he's in he always makes me laugh and we talk about interesting topics. I'm sure I probably already said this but Jason is so nice, caring, polite, considerate, funny, and selfless. He amazes me because I've never met anyone anything like him... the funny thing is he treats me as an equal although he's 23 and I'm only 16. I have this secret wish that Sarah really likes Jason and she's just waiting for the oppurtune time to announce it but I guess I'm just weird that way. It's just that Jason's such a great guy and Sarah needs someone like him but she doesn't like him like that. *sigh* Life is too complicated and if anyone gets a clue please tell me.
Mandy ~ 2:59 PM