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Monday, September 08, 2003
More Time, More Obstacles
*sigh* Well Adam hasn't been writing me practically anything besides 2 lined e-mails and he doesn't even sign his name. That leads me to think he doesn't want me anymore but I'm talking to Jason about it and Jason copied over the e-mail Adam wrote him and I'm in part of it...
I am going through depression, I havn't heard from amanda in awhile now. :( Thats all I think about here and I cant have that running through my mind when I'm out in the cities. and in another part he wrote...
Jason, please see whats up with Amanda, thanks alot bro.
I was hoping so badly that he met another girl or something so I wouldn't be going through hell... as if he isn't just with his cirumstances. This is part of the conversation I'm having with Jason right now...
~Mandy~ says:
and no matter how much i tell myself i am single somewhere along the line i decided me and adam were more than just that and i feel horribly guilty when i flirt
~Mandy~ says:
and i hate it because i'm not in a relationship therefore none of the relationship benefits
~Mandy~ says:
i'm getting negative benefits here
~Mandy~ says:
and i was kind of hoping adam would decide he hates me and that maybe this whole thing isn't a good idea and that he did meet someone over there and he doesn't want to be too invested with one person when he can't even see that person for another 7 months
Rey says:
i really don't know what to say
~Mandy~ says:
exactly
~Mandy~ says:
i just want to cry
At least tomorrow isn't Monday. I don't know how much else of this I can take. I asked Zach to go to homecoming with me because he can't go unless he has a date who's in the school. So I asked my mom and she told me that I couldn't go with Zach when I already made plans with him... I feel horrible about that too and I wrote him an e-mail earlier explaining the whole ordeal and I'm really hoping something will work out. I'm really depressed right now and the only thing that's holding me together are my girls, Susie, Vix, and Kate. Well I have to go because Sarah is kicking me off her computer.
*sigh* Well Adam hasn't been writing me practically anything besides 2 lined e-mails and he doesn't even sign his name. That leads me to think he doesn't want me anymore but I'm talking to Jason about it and Jason copied over the e-mail Adam wrote him and I'm in part of it...
I am going through depression, I havn't heard from amanda in awhile now. :( Thats all I think about here and I cant have that running through my mind when I'm out in the cities. and in another part he wrote...
Jason, please see whats up with Amanda, thanks alot bro.
I was hoping so badly that he met another girl or something so I wouldn't be going through hell... as if he isn't just with his cirumstances. This is part of the conversation I'm having with Jason right now...
~Mandy~ says:
and no matter how much i tell myself i am single somewhere along the line i decided me and adam were more than just that and i feel horribly guilty when i flirt
~Mandy~ says:
and i hate it because i'm not in a relationship therefore none of the relationship benefits
~Mandy~ says:
i'm getting negative benefits here
~Mandy~ says:
and i was kind of hoping adam would decide he hates me and that maybe this whole thing isn't a good idea and that he did meet someone over there and he doesn't want to be too invested with one person when he can't even see that person for another 7 months
Rey says:
i really don't know what to say
~Mandy~ says:
exactly
~Mandy~ says:
i just want to cry
At least tomorrow isn't Monday. I don't know how much else of this I can take. I asked Zach to go to homecoming with me because he can't go unless he has a date who's in the school. So I asked my mom and she told me that I couldn't go with Zach when I already made plans with him... I feel horrible about that too and I wrote him an e-mail earlier explaining the whole ordeal and I'm really hoping something will work out. I'm really depressed right now and the only thing that's holding me together are my girls, Susie, Vix, and Kate. Well I have to go because Sarah is kicking me off her computer.
Mandy ~ 11:33 PM