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Monday, October 13, 2003
Always the Downs After the Ups
Well I decided I was going to read my friends bloggers because it usually makes me happy to know how they're feeling. I read Emily's and I just got really pissed off because she's mad for me being mad. She has almost nothing to do with it. The fact that Kate didn't even tell me she was leaving bothered me. I could give a fuck less if Emily even invited me. Besides that I'm sure Emily would've been pissed if she found out I had a party and didn't invite her. Here's what she wrote...
We ended up going to a movie saturday night and then I visited with her and her mom for a while at her house afterwards. It was good to talk to Kaitlin again because I havn't in a really long time. And I missed that. But then of course Amanda had to get mad and all resentful against me for it cause I didn't invite her too and then when I came over she could hear the three of us upstairs laughing and having fun. Well I'm sorry but that just makes me sooo mad. I have so many things I wish to say about that. That and about her other favorite person. But I'm not going to. Because that would be mean.
I'm really sick of being the bitch. I'm trying to be happy since I've been depressed for so long and finally I find a reason to be happy although everything else in my life is just sucking ass. Zack, he's the only reason I'm happy at all. If it weren't for him I'd be so depressed right now. First of all everyone's treating me like shit. I'm not going to mention any names but certain friends are pissed at me for trying to be happy. I don't care what they say their reason is but I know it's because I'm finally happy. I talk about Zack a lot because he's the only happy thing in my life.
I could always talk about how my parents fight, how my family treats me like complete shit, how I'm always left alone at home, how I'm failing in the only two required classes I have although I'm trying, how I can't seem to be able to do anything like go places so I'm not at home alone, how my friends are treating me like shit, and just every reason that's there to make me depressed. Last night I was talking to Barbian and we had the best conversation and I loved it because finally it was a friend who'd actually listen to me and not bitch about it later like some people. So I'm thinking I'm going to take a little break from my "friends". That's a great plan because that way they can't bitch about me talking about Zack or being pissed. So anyone who's mad at me for being this way can FUCK OFF.
Thank you Zack, Katie, Chris, Jasmine, and Susie for never being pissed at me for my happiness or for being sad because obviously I have no reason to be depressed, none at all.
Well I decided I was going to read my friends bloggers because it usually makes me happy to know how they're feeling. I read Emily's and I just got really pissed off because she's mad for me being mad. She has almost nothing to do with it. The fact that Kate didn't even tell me she was leaving bothered me. I could give a fuck less if Emily even invited me. Besides that I'm sure Emily would've been pissed if she found out I had a party and didn't invite her. Here's what she wrote...
We ended up going to a movie saturday night and then I visited with her and her mom for a while at her house afterwards. It was good to talk to Kaitlin again because I havn't in a really long time. And I missed that. But then of course Amanda had to get mad and all resentful against me for it cause I didn't invite her too and then when I came over she could hear the three of us upstairs laughing and having fun. Well I'm sorry but that just makes me sooo mad. I have so many things I wish to say about that. That and about her other favorite person. But I'm not going to. Because that would be mean.
I'm really sick of being the bitch. I'm trying to be happy since I've been depressed for so long and finally I find a reason to be happy although everything else in my life is just sucking ass. Zack, he's the only reason I'm happy at all. If it weren't for him I'd be so depressed right now. First of all everyone's treating me like shit. I'm not going to mention any names but certain friends are pissed at me for trying to be happy. I don't care what they say their reason is but I know it's because I'm finally happy. I talk about Zack a lot because he's the only happy thing in my life.
I could always talk about how my parents fight, how my family treats me like complete shit, how I'm always left alone at home, how I'm failing in the only two required classes I have although I'm trying, how I can't seem to be able to do anything like go places so I'm not at home alone, how my friends are treating me like shit, and just every reason that's there to make me depressed. Last night I was talking to Barbian and we had the best conversation and I loved it because finally it was a friend who'd actually listen to me and not bitch about it later like some people. So I'm thinking I'm going to take a little break from my "friends". That's a great plan because that way they can't bitch about me talking about Zack or being pissed. So anyone who's mad at me for being this way can FUCK OFF.
Thank you Zack, Katie, Chris, Jasmine, and Susie for never being pissed at me for my happiness or for being sad because obviously I have no reason to be depressed, none at all.
Mandy ~ 6:54 PM