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Credits of the Creator
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Tuesday, October 21, 2003
I Feel So...
Used is the first word that comes to mind. Then I want to be mad for him doing it to me but I can't because he's so nice and he did it in such a polite way but that's even prickier. I just want to be mad because I'm the one who got screwed over... not him. He said it so obviously it was a relief to him to tell me. I know it all too well because I'm always the one who does the dumping. In fact I've never been dumped and I don't count this because we weren't going out to begin with. It's definitely rejection but that was bound to happen. Ang gave me his picture today and he wrote on the back 'I will always be your friend. Your such a great friend.' Although it's you're but it doesn't really matter anyway. He hurt me and that's about all there is to it. Last time I've had an official boyfriend was last prom, which was about 6 months ago.
I've realized that all that happens with these relationships is you like someone and then you go out with them and end up either hating them or never really talking to them. The only ex I still talk to is... well none of them and that's probably because I broke up with them. It was funny because Scott, the guy I broke up with prom night has a new girlfriend and Kate met her at the bowling alley and told me she was asking if Kate was Jeff's girlfriend because she knew one of the sisters was the 'evil bitch that broke up with Scott at prom'. Haha, I laugh at that because I can see him and her referring to me as that.
Well after school today my mom took me to JcPennys and I got a new pair of sketchers, pair of jeans, and two shirts. We weren't there that long but I didn't really like anything they had. They didn't have a whole lot of sketchers either but I got a pair that ended up being half size smaller than the last pair I got, which is weird because your feet are supposed to get bigger. The shoes I just bought I can also slip out of really easily without bending them in any way. I was really hoping Jasmine was going to call me tonight because I told her to call me after school today and she said she would. She's in Chicago for debate and I hope her competition goes well. Right now I'm listening to a song I just downloaded called "White Flag" by Dido. It's really nice and depressing. Well I have to go to finally do my paper that's due tomorrow that I haven't started yet. I also have my treble choir concert tomorrow. For one song "Do You Believe in Magic" we're dancing to choreography Kayla Dotter made up that's really good. We're signing two other songs about god and it's really annoying because they're supposed to keep religion and school separate but they don't.
P.S. Yes, I know the title is also a Box Car Racer song as well... it was completely intentional. 'Sometimes I wish I was brave, wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain'... 'Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry, I feel so calloused, so lost, confused again, I feel so cheap, so used, unfaithful, lets start over'. Last time I listened to this song was... at least two years ago.
Used is the first word that comes to mind. Then I want to be mad for him doing it to me but I can't because he's so nice and he did it in such a polite way but that's even prickier. I just want to be mad because I'm the one who got screwed over... not him. He said it so obviously it was a relief to him to tell me. I know it all too well because I'm always the one who does the dumping. In fact I've never been dumped and I don't count this because we weren't going out to begin with. It's definitely rejection but that was bound to happen. Ang gave me his picture today and he wrote on the back 'I will always be your friend. Your such a great friend.' Although it's you're but it doesn't really matter anyway. He hurt me and that's about all there is to it. Last time I've had an official boyfriend was last prom, which was about 6 months ago.
I've realized that all that happens with these relationships is you like someone and then you go out with them and end up either hating them or never really talking to them. The only ex I still talk to is... well none of them and that's probably because I broke up with them. It was funny because Scott, the guy I broke up with prom night has a new girlfriend and Kate met her at the bowling alley and told me she was asking if Kate was Jeff's girlfriend because she knew one of the sisters was the 'evil bitch that broke up with Scott at prom'. Haha, I laugh at that because I can see him and her referring to me as that.
Well after school today my mom took me to JcPennys and I got a new pair of sketchers, pair of jeans, and two shirts. We weren't there that long but I didn't really like anything they had. They didn't have a whole lot of sketchers either but I got a pair that ended up being half size smaller than the last pair I got, which is weird because your feet are supposed to get bigger. The shoes I just bought I can also slip out of really easily without bending them in any way. I was really hoping Jasmine was going to call me tonight because I told her to call me after school today and she said she would. She's in Chicago for debate and I hope her competition goes well. Right now I'm listening to a song I just downloaded called "White Flag" by Dido. It's really nice and depressing. Well I have to go to finally do my paper that's due tomorrow that I haven't started yet. I also have my treble choir concert tomorrow. For one song "Do You Believe in Magic" we're dancing to choreography Kayla Dotter made up that's really good. We're signing two other songs about god and it's really annoying because they're supposed to keep religion and school separate but they don't.
P.S. Yes, I know the title is also a Box Car Racer song as well... it was completely intentional. 'Sometimes I wish I was brave, wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain'... 'Cause I feel so mad, I feel so angry, I feel so calloused, so lost, confused again, I feel so cheap, so used, unfaithful, lets start over'. Last time I listened to this song was... at least two years ago.
Mandy ~ 6:22 PM