~The Music of My Life~

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Then Again

So today I found out... well really earlier tonight that Katie and I are doing all of the shows when I thought we were only doing one or two of them. Kayla completely dropped it on us and I've probably ran through the show once and I still don't know how I want to hold the damned thing. The best part *sarcasm* is that Sunday night it's all me. I can't even watch the fucking play once because I'll be too busy doing spots and you can't see anything from the back anyway. So I'm kind of pissed about that because there goes half of my weekend since the shows are from Thursday-Sunday. It's funny too because it was completely voluntary and I could drop it anytime (but I wouldn't do that to Katie) but if I'm late half hour like I was tonight, which didn't matter because Katie ran the first half then I get bitched at, and I have to bring in 2 dozen goodies for the cast when I'm only the spot, grrrr. They don't even need me the whole time and they only do my part when they run through the whole show so basically I waste half my time. I haven't even been getting my Sociology done for this... although I was invited to a party at Sam Pierre's house I most likely won't go because I wouldn't feel like I belonged there.

My night is just blah because I'm tired, cranky, and I didn't get to see Zach after school or really talk to him because he went home sick and then I was at school until 9:30. I can't even jump into a nice, hot shower because Kate's taking one and I couldn't talk to Zach on msn earlier because Kate was talking to Mike. They have the same band, lunch shift, and they see each other after school for half hour every day... Why does she get to see him so much and today I got to see Zach a couple of minutes before homeroom and then he walked me to my ceramics class and left. Then I called him when I got home because they informed me I didn't have to be there until 5, which I thought they said 5:30 (that's where the whole being half hour late thing came into play). So then I called Zach around quarter after 4 and we got to talk for an hour while I ate and got ready.

So mostly I'm pissed because I got stuck with this play thing and I didn't get to see Zach, grrrr. I just want to bite someone or beat something up. About the only thing I'm happy about is not having to go to school until 11:17 tomorrow because of Sophomore testing and the whole fact that I'm not one. Even that aggravates me because the first thought was I want to do something and that lead to... what can you really do from 7-11 am when the real plan is just sleeping and then... I want to do something with Zach but 'uh, he's a sophomore'. SO yea, that was my thought process. That and I think half days are retarded if you have only the second half of the day because everyone just wants to get it over with. So I think the school did that so no one can do anything social.

This blog is going to end up pretty long because I'm only waiting for two things, my nails to dry and to take a shower. Even though it takes forever for this polish to dry (and I already fucked up one nail) it looks like it'll be dry far long before I take my shower because Kate likes the hour-long showers. The one that she started about 10 minutes ago *rolls eyes* *sigh* I'm so unbelievably tired. Last night I even fell asleep with wet hair up in a towel and that dried pretty funny in the morning but I curled it because today Kate decided to wake me up at 6 am because she had DE class to go to.

For me there are certain kinds of tiredness. The one I have right now is where I can't really hear anything around me because I'm too tired to pay attention involuntary (which is pretty bad if you didn't realize that) and I feel so heavy and my head might as well roll off my shoulders and if I close my eyes I end up falling asleep in a millisecond. My body is telling me to stop moving because it's taking energy that doesn't exist. So I'm going to get going because all I'm doing is complaining. I miss my baby Zach.

Mandy ~ 11:15 PM