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Credits of the Creator
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Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Love is in the Air, or Maybe Just Horomones... *shrugs*
So here I sit quarter past 10
Wondering when
When will I know...
Will his true feelings ever show?
His eyes don't betray him
By telling me his truths
Something that isn't anything new
Wondering if this time it's true...
These feelings I mean
And often I careen
Into uncertain places
Painful in those cases
Does he want me?
Or want to use me
What a difference one word can make
And often forsake
Is this time the same?
Who was to blame?
Wanting to deny
These feelings deep inside
Avoiding agony
That may come again
If I let another in
So anyway I didn't by any means intend to write a poem but I guess those things just happen sometimes. I also know the poem is shit because I'm suffering from a severe block but I just wrote whatever word popped in first. If you don't know it's about Job and he's going to ask me out in a Valentine card and I want to say 'yes' because my heart yearns for love and at the same time I don't want to crush it again by something that'll only pull me in to spit me out... in other words use me. We all use each other in a way but I like to think of better things. Tomorrow I'm going to try to talk to Job and tell him that he can touch me (in appropriate ways mind you). I feel so nervous around him and I think it's because he doesn't want to show any emotion because some guys are just like that. The fear to love. I just want him to loosen up around me and I have this feeling that he either doesn't think he's good enough, which is hilarious or that he doesn't want me to know how much he really likes me. No matter what I feel there is something there unsaid amongst many other things. Job is a man of few words and for someone like me, one of many words it's hard because I just want to sit down with him and know his opinions and beliefs and how he feels about certain things. Why he's in band because something had to drive him this far to stay in it as well as wrestling. He's definitely one to stick to something once he's started it or at least that's what I've observed from what little I know. Well now I must be going and now I will let you know one other belief of mine is that whenever I'm with a guy I become like him no matter how hard I try. I started this particular blog to write in it my feelings and tonight is a night when words don't flow freely or as freely as they normally do. I wanted to say many other things and like that I'm becoming like Job because I guess they'll be left unsaid, at least for now. I don't want to say anything I may want to take back later and I'm not talking about gossip but rather my personal opinion upon this whole situation. Now I will leave you guessing like Job leaves me every day.
So here I sit quarter past 10
Wondering when
When will I know...
Will his true feelings ever show?
His eyes don't betray him
By telling me his truths
Something that isn't anything new
Wondering if this time it's true...
These feelings I mean
And often I careen
Into uncertain places
Painful in those cases
Does he want me?
Or want to use me
What a difference one word can make
And often forsake
Is this time the same?
Who was to blame?
Wanting to deny
These feelings deep inside
Avoiding agony
That may come again
If I let another in
So anyway I didn't by any means intend to write a poem but I guess those things just happen sometimes. I also know the poem is shit because I'm suffering from a severe block but I just wrote whatever word popped in first. If you don't know it's about Job and he's going to ask me out in a Valentine card and I want to say 'yes' because my heart yearns for love and at the same time I don't want to crush it again by something that'll only pull me in to spit me out... in other words use me. We all use each other in a way but I like to think of better things. Tomorrow I'm going to try to talk to Job and tell him that he can touch me (in appropriate ways mind you). I feel so nervous around him and I think it's because he doesn't want to show any emotion because some guys are just like that. The fear to love. I just want him to loosen up around me and I have this feeling that he either doesn't think he's good enough, which is hilarious or that he doesn't want me to know how much he really likes me. No matter what I feel there is something there unsaid amongst many other things. Job is a man of few words and for someone like me, one of many words it's hard because I just want to sit down with him and know his opinions and beliefs and how he feels about certain things. Why he's in band because something had to drive him this far to stay in it as well as wrestling. He's definitely one to stick to something once he's started it or at least that's what I've observed from what little I know. Well now I must be going and now I will let you know one other belief of mine is that whenever I'm with a guy I become like him no matter how hard I try. I started this particular blog to write in it my feelings and tonight is a night when words don't flow freely or as freely as they normally do. I wanted to say many other things and like that I'm becoming like Job because I guess they'll be left unsaid, at least for now. I don't want to say anything I may want to take back later and I'm not talking about gossip but rather my personal opinion upon this whole situation. Now I will leave you guessing like Job leaves me every day.
Mandy ~ 10:31 PM