~The Music of My Life~

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

*Eyeslids Wearily Flutter*

Last night was the benefit thing. A few things were skipped due to the time issue but Kayla and I still sang. We're both sick and we got up there and Kayla had to stop a moment to clear her throat but otherwise it went pretty well. There were at least a couple hundred people there and they ended up raising $1500. If all of that money came from ticket sales that means 500 people attended and that means Kayla and I sang for 500 people acapella but I'm sure not all of that came from ticket sales. That's insane because I barely got nervous. I just walked out there and did it. Then again today in my 4th hour Kayla and I sang for my grammar class and Santy loved it and so did the class. I got so nervous because we were so close to them and my face turned beat red I'm sure but it went very well. It was much easier to fill a classroom than an auditorium from a big intimidating stage.

So I've been thinking and I've realized I haven't been getting really excited about this Chicago trip that I'm leaving for on Saturday morning in 2 days and a few hours. I think when I'm finally boarding the bus I'll get excited. The funny thing was my horoscope said I'm jealous of everyone's excitement and by the time I get excited about an event it'll be perfect timing because by then everyone else will be worn out of their excitement. I hope that's how it is because I really want to enjoy my trip. I'll be with all of my friends and Job :D. He makes me so unbelievably happy. I'm sorry for all of those who are sick of hearing about it but this blog is all about me and how I feel and Job has been a huge factor in that.

Now for my daily rant of Job, hehe. Today after school we had marching practice and he made me take a hanf warmer because it was really cold outside and I tried to refuse it but he made me take it so I just gave in. About halfway through I was freezing (well at least my hands were from playing) and I took it out and used it and he saw and smiled at me. Then after practice he said he told me so and my mom came to pick Kate and me up and I just completely ignored her. I feel horrible for doing that and making them wait and yet I don't because I just want to be with Job and then nothing else seems to matter. Yet everything else matters but it's just that my priorities have changed since I've been going out with him.

Kayla and I were actually talking about that the other day and how we both put our bfs first although we shouldn't. Jake has been causing a lot of stress in the Kayla dome as of recently too. It's like he needs his space and then when he sees her he just grabs her and I'm sure it's confusing Kayla to death but Jake just gets in these moods and takes it out on her. I have a feeling that's how it's going to be with Job and me. At first I'm the one who's not in it completely and Job's always the one who wants to do something and in a couple of months I'll be hooked and want to be the one who does everything and Job will lose interest. No matter how much he may try to convince me now that isn't going to happen I can't help but think of possible scenarios although all it does is lead me to jump to conclusions. *picks up the pole of thoughts, runs down the track of time, jumps the obstacle, and falls into the padding of assumptions* Hmmm, that was fun.

Well... Beka said Job would be home around 8:30 so I have another 15 minutes to wait. I have grammar homework and I have to remember that tomorrow I'm singing our duet for Santy's first hour class. I wonder what class he has first hour. I'm hoping it's a younger class because then they'll be easier to sing to. Well I'm going to go because Kate's giving me a pic from her eighth grde picnic with Job in it, this should be good.

Mandy ~ 8:17 PM