Who I Am
These are my true thoughts...
My Past
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
Favorite Websites
albinoblacksheep.com
www.myspace.com
www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com
Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Monday, April 12, 2004
Finally
I'm so grateful that the pc is finally working again. It's unexplainable except that Kate has the magic touch because as soon as she turned it on it just worked perfectly. So now I'm getting wrangled into asking Chris Zeigler and Brian Quade to prom for Suze and Ashley. I'm going to feel horrible if they say no, which they will. *sigh* Chris is obsessed with money and he thinks he can buy anything with it and he even thought Megan Rudolph would go with him to prom but she turned him down.
Oh ouch. I just remembered a song and I dled it because I was trying to remember the songs that got deleted when the pc was reformatted. Well it was 'echo' by Trapt and it was a complete flashback of Adam. The correspondance, the yearbook dance, when he came home on visit and went to my christmas concert and then we hung out after. He's home now... I really hope he doesn't try contacting me. I'm sure Jason told him I'm with Job (or at least I hope he did) because last time Jason was over here I raved about Job the whole time. It hurts so bad to be reminded of past... guys especially if I really liked them. Tomorrow I'm going to practically take Job down when I see him because hearing that song and remembering Adam really killed me. I need some emotional support now.
Job actually proposed I stay the summer with him and his relatives in Iowa and I'm sure he didn't even ask permission either. The idea of staying with him and his family sounds so... unbelievably commited and I love that but it's realistically only been 2 months (as of Tuesday, yay) and by July it will be 4 months. Then I'm worried about my period, being picky about eating, laundry, and what if they don't like me? I don't think that's something a girl who's only been going out with a guy for 2 months should really start worrying about. *sigh*
Major anxiety although I keep daydreaming just about sleeping with Job. Not even doing anything either. Just being able to sleep in the same bed in his arms and wake up with him there. Every night for 17 years I've gone to bed alone and woken up alone and since I've been with him and realized what it's like to be in his arms I've decided I never want to go to sleep and wake up without him ever. Even though we've never gotten to sleep together under that circumstance... yet. I'm patiently waiting and if it never happens I just might give up on guys altogether. I'm so in love with Job that sometimes to remind myself I jokingly tell him I don't like him just to feel the pain it causes me and remember just how much I love him. Immediately after I tell him I'm joking even though he knows. I really have to stop doing that because it hurts so much. I'm sure that sounds really demented but I'm a weird girl and I've never met a normal person.
Someone please tell me how to control the love I feel for Job because whenever I see him I just want to run into his arms and never let go. Whenever we're not together the time seems to last forever until the time I can see him again. I didn't even do my oral interp homework and it bothers me that I don't care and then it doesn't. Now it's past midnight and Sarah and Kate have both taken their showers and Kate's waiting for me to come upstairs but I have to take a shower first and I'm just... losing care for anything else. It sounds so obsessive I know but I think after a few months I'll calm down or at least learn how to control this but for now I'm just going to emerse myself and take a shower and then go to dream about Job only to wake up and no more than half hour later meet up with him at school. Since we've been going out I haven't missed a single day of school. Even when I don't feel well I go just to see him and seeing him makes me feel better. Ahhh. I can't wait to see you my Job. Great, now Brian is talking to me and he's probably going to start hitting on me. I'm going to try to make a clean break :p Night all and I can only hope you find the love I've found.
I'm so grateful that the pc is finally working again. It's unexplainable except that Kate has the magic touch because as soon as she turned it on it just worked perfectly. So now I'm getting wrangled into asking Chris Zeigler and Brian Quade to prom for Suze and Ashley. I'm going to feel horrible if they say no, which they will. *sigh* Chris is obsessed with money and he thinks he can buy anything with it and he even thought Megan Rudolph would go with him to prom but she turned him down.
Oh ouch. I just remembered a song and I dled it because I was trying to remember the songs that got deleted when the pc was reformatted. Well it was 'echo' by Trapt and it was a complete flashback of Adam. The correspondance, the yearbook dance, when he came home on visit and went to my christmas concert and then we hung out after. He's home now... I really hope he doesn't try contacting me. I'm sure Jason told him I'm with Job (or at least I hope he did) because last time Jason was over here I raved about Job the whole time. It hurts so bad to be reminded of past... guys especially if I really liked them. Tomorrow I'm going to practically take Job down when I see him because hearing that song and remembering Adam really killed me. I need some emotional support now.
Job actually proposed I stay the summer with him and his relatives in Iowa and I'm sure he didn't even ask permission either. The idea of staying with him and his family sounds so... unbelievably commited and I love that but it's realistically only been 2 months (as of Tuesday, yay) and by July it will be 4 months. Then I'm worried about my period, being picky about eating, laundry, and what if they don't like me? I don't think that's something a girl who's only been going out with a guy for 2 months should really start worrying about. *sigh*
Major anxiety although I keep daydreaming just about sleeping with Job. Not even doing anything either. Just being able to sleep in the same bed in his arms and wake up with him there. Every night for 17 years I've gone to bed alone and woken up alone and since I've been with him and realized what it's like to be in his arms I've decided I never want to go to sleep and wake up without him ever. Even though we've never gotten to sleep together under that circumstance... yet. I'm patiently waiting and if it never happens I just might give up on guys altogether. I'm so in love with Job that sometimes to remind myself I jokingly tell him I don't like him just to feel the pain it causes me and remember just how much I love him. Immediately after I tell him I'm joking even though he knows. I really have to stop doing that because it hurts so much. I'm sure that sounds really demented but I'm a weird girl and I've never met a normal person.
Someone please tell me how to control the love I feel for Job because whenever I see him I just want to run into his arms and never let go. Whenever we're not together the time seems to last forever until the time I can see him again. I didn't even do my oral interp homework and it bothers me that I don't care and then it doesn't. Now it's past midnight and Sarah and Kate have both taken their showers and Kate's waiting for me to come upstairs but I have to take a shower first and I'm just... losing care for anything else. It sounds so obsessive I know but I think after a few months I'll calm down or at least learn how to control this but for now I'm just going to emerse myself and take a shower and then go to dream about Job only to wake up and no more than half hour later meet up with him at school. Since we've been going out I haven't missed a single day of school. Even when I don't feel well I go just to see him and seeing him makes me feel better. Ahhh. I can't wait to see you my Job. Great, now Brian is talking to me and he's probably going to start hitting on me. I'm going to try to make a clean break :p Night all and I can only hope you find the love I've found.
Mandy ~ 12:11 AM