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Friday, May 07, 2004
I *sigh* Again
I just read Emily's blogger and I'm working my way down the list. Part of what she wrote...
One reason I've been annoyed because anytime I say anything perverted everyone gives me weird look and calls me a pervert and hits me or something. Am I really that gross....or is it just that much more disgusting coming from me? Because Im pretty sure I'm tame compared to some of the things you guys come up with. So I don't understand. I'm not really like that.
I have never been suprised/disgusted/anything to those remarks she makes because everyone else makes them too. Hell, I make them and sometimes I play along and tell her what a sexy beast she is just because it's fun. *shrugs* Anyone who does react in such a manner as to be disgusted by such thoughts that aren't perverted because they're human nature is a hipocrit. (By the way perverted means anything that isn't humanly natural and that would be, for instance, having sex with dead people, being a necropheliac or a dendro- is perverted, that second one is sex with trees).
On another note Emily brought up in her blogger. Lets see here... oh yes...
So I feel like...I feel like no guy is ever going to love me again and it is a depressing thought. But then again, I look on the other side and I'm like well, if I had a boyfriend of some sort, they'd always get in the way or well more of they'd hold me back from things I really wanted to, or should be doing. And they cause one way too much anxiety. More than it's worth. But you know, a person really can get lonely when she has to see all her friends all over each 24/7. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. So yeah. There is also a few other complexitys thrown in there that suck butt and I wish I'd just solve them.
I'm sorry you feel that way and I really wished there was some way I could help you but there really isn't. All I can say is just let things happen and fall where they may. I'm extremely lucky and I'm not going to let one moment of it pass me by because I already have multiple times. Some things say never let one moment pass you by others say never dump your friends for your bf and yet others say... well a lot of things and you know what? It's impossible to accomplish all of that because for one to never let one moment pass you by would be insanity and I pass moments by to make other moments and it's rather confusing and I'm sure I've lost half of my readers right there so I'll stop.
In the past week I've been in the paper twice. I was in the paper for Presidential Physical Fitness and then today I was in there for singing for Improvamalooza. I'm singing Proud Mary with Alise Boehm, Heather Maas, and Kim Beigal. I'm really nervous and not for myself but because Kim's tone deaf and for one Jeb said today 4th hour her voice made the group look horrible because she has a solo, we all do and I have no idea what to do because Heather and Alise are just wonderful and then there's Kim. It makes me feel absolutely horrible to say this too so I'm going to stop, yet another topic.
Today 4th hour was hilarious because we've had Mrs. Storm as our substitute for the past few days because Vick-Martini is gone at Mach Trial State. Well today Nessa was complaining that she was starving and Storm handed out our tests and she told us not to cheat and then she walked out the door. Of course everyone cheated and a couple of minutes later she walked back in with 2 trays of food. Buffet food, meats and cheeses and buns and raw vegis and dip and everyone chowed down. I didn't eat anything because I was happily chewing on my gum and I wasn't hungry. I still thought it was really nice of her and hilarious because she's like 60 and she's pretty eccentric and she said in a really sneaky tone 'I kiefed them from the teachers lounge' with an evil little laugh. Everyone in the class broke out in histarics. We did absolutely nothing, took a test and then we worked on homework that's due Monday and in between talking for the hour we had left I almost completed the assignment. I wished school were always like 4th hour today but then I probably wouldn't appreciate it enough.
*sigh* I need to vent and this time it isn't bad... I love Job and it's killing me. I feel like I can't express my love for him enough and just being in his arms completely relieves me but for only that moment in time. I obsess about him so much and especially when he's around me and he loves it. Most guys would be embarassed and tell me to stop it or they'd break up with me but Job... he's just wonderful. He actually reciprocates the love I express and besides that I've never loved anyone as much as I love Job. Not even Matt! That's going to shock a few who read this. I can almost hear the *gasps* right now.
Even though a lot of people around me are depressed especially friends :( I can't help being so happy even though I still get moody. I'm really worrying about Kayla and today after school she broke down in tears after telling me how she's been feeling and responding to everything. She seems seriously depressed and I think it would be in her best interest to seek help because I know in the past I've wanted to because there were thoughts... but I'm not saying Kayla's having those thoughts but just that she's extremely rangy and upset alot. Well I think I've been skitzophrenic enough in this blogger, I'll save some for later ;P.
I just read Emily's blogger and I'm working my way down the list. Part of what she wrote...
One reason I've been annoyed because anytime I say anything perverted everyone gives me weird look and calls me a pervert and hits me or something. Am I really that gross....or is it just that much more disgusting coming from me? Because Im pretty sure I'm tame compared to some of the things you guys come up with. So I don't understand. I'm not really like that.
I have never been suprised/disgusted/anything to those remarks she makes because everyone else makes them too. Hell, I make them and sometimes I play along and tell her what a sexy beast she is just because it's fun. *shrugs* Anyone who does react in such a manner as to be disgusted by such thoughts that aren't perverted because they're human nature is a hipocrit. (By the way perverted means anything that isn't humanly natural and that would be, for instance, having sex with dead people, being a necropheliac or a dendro- is perverted, that second one is sex with trees).
On another note Emily brought up in her blogger. Lets see here... oh yes...
So I feel like...I feel like no guy is ever going to love me again and it is a depressing thought. But then again, I look on the other side and I'm like well, if I had a boyfriend of some sort, they'd always get in the way or well more of they'd hold me back from things I really wanted to, or should be doing. And they cause one way too much anxiety. More than it's worth. But you know, a person really can get lonely when she has to see all her friends all over each 24/7. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. So yeah. There is also a few other complexitys thrown in there that suck butt and I wish I'd just solve them.
I'm sorry you feel that way and I really wished there was some way I could help you but there really isn't. All I can say is just let things happen and fall where they may. I'm extremely lucky and I'm not going to let one moment of it pass me by because I already have multiple times. Some things say never let one moment pass you by others say never dump your friends for your bf and yet others say... well a lot of things and you know what? It's impossible to accomplish all of that because for one to never let one moment pass you by would be insanity and I pass moments by to make other moments and it's rather confusing and I'm sure I've lost half of my readers right there so I'll stop.
In the past week I've been in the paper twice. I was in the paper for Presidential Physical Fitness and then today I was in there for singing for Improvamalooza. I'm singing Proud Mary with Alise Boehm, Heather Maas, and Kim Beigal. I'm really nervous and not for myself but because Kim's tone deaf and for one Jeb said today 4th hour her voice made the group look horrible because she has a solo, we all do and I have no idea what to do because Heather and Alise are just wonderful and then there's Kim. It makes me feel absolutely horrible to say this too so I'm going to stop, yet another topic.
Today 4th hour was hilarious because we've had Mrs. Storm as our substitute for the past few days because Vick-Martini is gone at Mach Trial State. Well today Nessa was complaining that she was starving and Storm handed out our tests and she told us not to cheat and then she walked out the door. Of course everyone cheated and a couple of minutes later she walked back in with 2 trays of food. Buffet food, meats and cheeses and buns and raw vegis and dip and everyone chowed down. I didn't eat anything because I was happily chewing on my gum and I wasn't hungry. I still thought it was really nice of her and hilarious because she's like 60 and she's pretty eccentric and she said in a really sneaky tone 'I kiefed them from the teachers lounge' with an evil little laugh. Everyone in the class broke out in histarics. We did absolutely nothing, took a test and then we worked on homework that's due Monday and in between talking for the hour we had left I almost completed the assignment. I wished school were always like 4th hour today but then I probably wouldn't appreciate it enough.
*sigh* I need to vent and this time it isn't bad... I love Job and it's killing me. I feel like I can't express my love for him enough and just being in his arms completely relieves me but for only that moment in time. I obsess about him so much and especially when he's around me and he loves it. Most guys would be embarassed and tell me to stop it or they'd break up with me but Job... he's just wonderful. He actually reciprocates the love I express and besides that I've never loved anyone as much as I love Job. Not even Matt! That's going to shock a few who read this. I can almost hear the *gasps* right now.
Even though a lot of people around me are depressed especially friends :( I can't help being so happy even though I still get moody. I'm really worrying about Kayla and today after school she broke down in tears after telling me how she's been feeling and responding to everything. She seems seriously depressed and I think it would be in her best interest to seek help because I know in the past I've wanted to because there were thoughts... but I'm not saying Kayla's having those thoughts but just that she's extremely rangy and upset alot. Well I think I've been skitzophrenic enough in this blogger, I'll save some for later ;P.
Mandy ~ 5:17 PM