~The Music of My Life~

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Popular Favorites Suck

I wrote a little poem and after I've copied it from the paper I'm going to explain it.

As I learn
I realize
To no concern
Or suprise
Some thrive
To be alive
Others die
Living their lies
A single red rose
In a sea of red
Nobody knows
What lies ahead
It's beauty unseen
As you swim past
To it none are keen
Your vision downcast
Justice to those
Who nobody knows
For it's thorns beware
They cut the unfair
The roses unforgiving
Torture as you keep living
Do unto others as they do onto you
For they know... Revenge is sweet and true

So for the past couple of days we've been waiting to get a letter telling us whether or not we made it into Shodags. We got it today... I went down the list and saw Kate's nor my name. I was enfuriated. First I cried because I thought it was so unfair. Then I got mad because I know I should've made it. Then I tried telling myself I did something wrong to have not made it. In the end I realized it was all favorites of who was in there the year before, even if they sucked and who was popular. Sarah Hall whose voice dipped in and out of notes, Katie Lappin who was flat the whole time and even admitted to it, Katie Matthews and Linell Grzesik who force their voices and it sounds like they're screaming, and Heidi Cray whose voice cracked multiple times because she couldn't hit the notes not to mention every one of their voices is nasaly. Yet, of all those girls (and others unmentioned) I didn't make it.

This may be the first time in my life I'm going to admit this but I think a have a decent voice (when I did tell someone that they said it was a gross understatement) and I should've made it ahead of all of those other girls. I nailed all of my moves, did all of the required moves, I pronounced every word without being stingy, and I sang every note right with a smile on my face and the enthusiasm to match. After all of that Mrs. P had the unmitigated temerity to lead me on to believe I was going to make it... I'm just so unbelievably upset.

Since that I decided I didn't want to be in treble choir next year if I wasn't good enough to be in Shodags and I was much better than over half the girls that tried out and half that made it. I've been trying to get a hold of her to nicely ask why I wasn't good enough and to tell her 'I would tell you in person but since I won't be seeing you next year because I won't be in treble choir.' So instead I'm going to sign up for 4 quarters of German and hopefully if I get a job I can put the money aside to go on the German trip since Job and Emily are going and it'd be so much fun. I also get to take German because a lot of colleges require 2 classes of a foreign language. So since that door closed a ton more opened. I just hope my mom will let me go on the trip seen as I will be 18 and I'm very responsible and she can trust me. The only issue right now is money because as it is I'm already going on a band trip to West Virginia to march in the Strawberry Parade and stay in college dorms. So that trip is a couple hundred dollars if not more and the German trip will be really expensive. So I'm going to ask my dad sometime this week if he can take me to pick up some job applications so hopefully I can get some more money in the bank. Right now I only have around $350 in the bank and I know if I got a job all of it would be going into the bank.

I'm also kind of mad because I wrote a 5 paragraph blogger yesterday and the power went out right before I posted it. It was all about Abbie's party and how it kicked butt and what we did but I'm not going to rewrite it because I'm lazy. I'm out.

Mandy ~ 2:54 PM