~The Music of My Life~

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Seriously Upset

I may not have lost someone I love (well not in the past couple of days) but I feel so horrible right now. A little while ago I was talking to Job on the phone and he told me that his sister, Beka always mocks me and called me stupid and she hates me. Now, I have no idea what I did to deserve that but it upsets me that she hates me and I'm sure (because I could've sworn even if she didn't like me that she didn't hate me) that his family strongly dislikes me too. I'm always on the phone with Job and we always want to do something and supposedly Job talks about me a lot and I'm sure they're annoyed by that. I can't stand it when people hate me even before they really get to know me. I understand that there will always be people that are ignorant enough to judge people before they actually know them but I don't think it's acceptable.

Then after I learned that lovely bit of information Kate came home after her interview with Walgreens and the biggest smile on her face. She started bragging about how she's sure she's going to get the job because Ben (who works there) highly recommended her, the manager is super nice, the company is doing so well that every dollar Kate puts into a retirement fund for working there she'll earn back three which is unheard of. So basically if she put in $50 from her 1st paycheck she'd get $150 right off. So she could triple her pay if she put it all into a retirement fund. So she kept bragging about that and rubbing it in that I'm almost 2 years older and she'll be earning $6.50/ hour and everything is going to be wonderful while I earn... Nothing because I don't have a job.

I'm also extremely upset because Job's going to a wrestling camp for a week and that wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that he's going to be gone for our 4 month and that's a big thing for me. So while I'm here, doing nothing, and whining about how I'll never have a job Kate will be earning boyah pay, Beka will be making a voodoo doll of me, and Job will be having the best time wrestling and such.

Now the only thing that might make me cheer up a little bit is that my dad just asked me to go fishing with him and at first I said no because I'm upset and then I thought about it and realized it may be the only thing that'll cheer me up at the moment although I was going to spend the night until 8 making the rest of the choreography for the tryout song for Shodags, which is tomorrow and also my last day with Job before he leaves.

I found out I'm going to get a B+ in Democracy which really upsets me because I was 10 pts away from an A-. So now I'm going to go put on some clothes (because I was trying to tan earlier and only got a lovely burn even when I wore sunscreen) and go fishing with my dad and completely shurk my responsibility to my choreography for Shodags, which I probably won't make because it's all a popularity contest and I'm one of 47 people trying out and at best Mrs. P will accept a group of 26, but most likely a group of a much smaller size.

Mandy ~ 5:23 PM