~The Music of My Life~

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Damn!

Just as I start a new quarter you hs-ers are finishing yours! I have Life Drawing, Chemistry, Eng 2, and World Regional Geography. Chemistry is like 4 hours long with no break but Mark is hilarious and so perverted! I made the class laugh a few times with random comments. At my main table I sit with Dwight Webb, Becky Berth, and Anthony Padgett because they're the only peeps I know! I'm excited to see who's in my Eng 2 and Geog. classes. I know for sure Kt is in my Geog. class and we have the same Eng class, same teacher, different time ;p of course. We're already making alcohol in Chemistry, it was our first lab today. Mmm, we need a 4th model for art and I told Becky and Dwight about it and they're both interested because it pays $20-25/ hour. It'd be a little weird drawing someone I know only because Bob said 97% of the time we're drawing from nude models. I think Becky really wants to model though even though Bob would prefer a male because the model that moved away was a male and then we'd be unequal on the ratio of male to female.

Hmmm, Job had a meet today and he just called and we made plans to hang out tomorrow. I'm pretty sure we're going to go ring shopping for him so I can buy him a ring to match mine. I still have to buy my geog. book which is like $87 the seller said but it may have gone up and it's so stupid because it's maybe half an inch thick and a paperback. *sigh* The expenses of that crap (well not the ring, I don't mind the ring). I was so happy to see Job last night because I hardly ever get to see him and even though he smelled of fast food and had just eaten 3 burgers with onions I still kissed him even though I hate onions and the smell of them!

I have to wake up early tomorrow to work and then for school. Job has off so he's going to pick me up and that's pretty much what I'll be looking forward to because my body is running on next to nothing. I've been having these really weird dreams and I've been spitting in them, literally... So far this past week I've woken myself up twice from spitting on my own arm in my sleep. I've never done that in my life and I guess it means...

To spit in your dream, signifies an aspect of yourself that you need to get rid of. Alternatively, spitting may represent anger and contempt.

I want to know what that's all about... I don't feel angry, only about one thing... Two of my black thongs that were in Ben's bedroom (where I had been sleeping prior to him coming home) magically disappeared after him and Mickey left... I only have three thongs because my mom threatened that she'd cut up any if she ever found them so after my kickass rhinestone one disappeared I decided to be secretive about it and by keeping them in Ben's room my mom would think they were Mickey's if she did find them. So, to cut the story short I fessed up to my mom about having them and thinking Mickey took them and she said she wouldn't put it past her but who the heck would take someone else's thongs? I try to tell myself since that's all that she wears that maybe she honestly thought they were hers and grabbed them on accident?

Either way it makes me angry because one pair was given to me by Job and the other fit perfectly, looked great, and felt wonderful. Grrr. *sigh*

I'm sooo tired and I don't want to wake up tomorrow. Maybe I should take the codine, no. No, no no no no. Bad. I can't take that stuff because it makes me sleep all day. It shuts down my mind and stops my bad dreams. It just knocks me out. Kills my sensible thoughts but not some of the unsensible ones... I can't give in to it, it's a drug, I'm above that and what it does to me. I stopped taking it before the drs. orders but I can't anymore, not for my own good. What the hell did they think was going to happen to me after putting me on that shit for the third time?!

I swear doctors make addicts so they have garenteed patients... regardless they will, people are weak and dumb.

Mandy ~ 10:50 PM