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albinoblacksheep.com
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www.ebaumsworld.com
Credits of the Creator
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Saturday, July 08, 2006
The Blower's Daughter
Good song... Think it was from the movie "Closer" or whatever the one was with Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Julia Roberts, and Clive Owen.
I think I'm getting to a better place where I can begin to depend on myself. It's weird being alone but I have to learn some time. Chris asked me where I was going to college and I asked him about Oshkosh and he said it had a good arts program and that a lot of his friends are going for that. He told me they needed another roommate and I declined. I told him it'd be weird living co-ed and he said he's had girl roommates before but I told him I was going to Nicolet this next year regardless.
I'm not sure I should be writing this but I'm sick of keeping it all in and I don't care who knows. Chris is nice and we're going through the same thing so it's extremely nice to be able to relate to someone and have a friend there every day even if 95% of the time we're working. Ok, more like 93% because we get 3 ten-minute breaks (on 8 hour shifts) so 30 minutes from 8 hours would be 350/380 is... .9375 per cent. Yes, that is the correct way to write a percent... My teacher, Mark Nebgen enlightened me on that. Like it even matters. He liked/likes Job a lot. My head is in so many places right now. Chris is telling me to be strong and that I can go the single route but I know I'm just weak. If I went out and got schwasted I'd most likely find a phone and call Job and that'd be bad because I need to do this.
Job has a date Monday and I feel happy for him. I won't date. At least not for a while because I really need to find out who I am because right now I just feel hopelessly lost in everything that's consumed my life so far... School, family, used to be Job (not his fault either), work. No time for Amanda to be herself. Last night (well, this morning at 4 am ish) all the way home I freestyled because I felt like it and it felt good to do what I wanted and not worry about how I sounded and actually, I had some halfway decent rhymes. I'm exhausted and that's probably because I went to sleep at 4:30 and woke up at 7 or 9. I can't remember anymore.
One day is the previous or the next or hasn't even happened yet and then it happens and it's just as my mind imagined it and that's probably because of the monotany. Someone save me. I need a friend that lives in Rhinelander because Chris is in Wausau and he's probably getting his bike today or his tattoo or whatever he wants because he's... He told me he didn't want to go back out with his ex but he doesn't want any other guy to have her. I'm just trying to be a good friend for him, the way he's being there for me. So if you're thinking I've already moved unto another guy, Job, he's only a friend but that probably doesn't matter to you. I really don't know what to say to you and not because I'm upset or angry or sad or anything else just because... I've simply never been in this situation before. I have to go do something consuming.
http://www.sing365.com/music/Lyric.nsf/The-Blower
Good song... Think it was from the movie "Closer" or whatever the one was with Natalie Portman, Jude Law, Julia Roberts, and Clive Owen.
I think I'm getting to a better place where I can begin to depend on myself. It's weird being alone but I have to learn some time. Chris asked me where I was going to college and I asked him about Oshkosh and he said it had a good arts program and that a lot of his friends are going for that. He told me they needed another roommate and I declined. I told him it'd be weird living co-ed and he said he's had girl roommates before but I told him I was going to Nicolet this next year regardless.
I'm not sure I should be writing this but I'm sick of keeping it all in and I don't care who knows. Chris is nice and we're going through the same thing so it's extremely nice to be able to relate to someone and have a friend there every day even if 95% of the time we're working. Ok, more like 93% because we get 3 ten-minute breaks (on 8 hour shifts) so 30 minutes from 8 hours would be 350/380 is... .9375 per cent. Yes, that is the correct way to write a percent... My teacher, Mark Nebgen enlightened me on that. Like it even matters. He liked/likes Job a lot. My head is in so many places right now. Chris is telling me to be strong and that I can go the single route but I know I'm just weak. If I went out and got schwasted I'd most likely find a phone and call Job and that'd be bad because I need to do this.
Job has a date Monday and I feel happy for him. I won't date. At least not for a while because I really need to find out who I am because right now I just feel hopelessly lost in everything that's consumed my life so far... School, family, used to be Job (not his fault either), work. No time for Amanda to be herself. Last night (well, this morning at 4 am ish) all the way home I freestyled because I felt like it and it felt good to do what I wanted and not worry about how I sounded and actually, I had some halfway decent rhymes. I'm exhausted and that's probably because I went to sleep at 4:30 and woke up at 7 or 9. I can't remember anymore.
One day is the previous or the next or hasn't even happened yet and then it happens and it's just as my mind imagined it and that's probably because of the monotany. Someone save me. I need a friend that lives in Rhinelander because Chris is in Wausau and he's probably getting his bike today or his tattoo or whatever he wants because he's... He told me he didn't want to go back out with his ex but he doesn't want any other guy to have her. I'm just trying to be a good friend for him, the way he's being there for me. So if you're thinking I've already moved unto another guy, Job, he's only a friend but that probably doesn't matter to you. I really don't know what to say to you and not because I'm upset or angry or sad or anything else just because... I've simply never been in this situation before. I have to go do something consuming.
http://www.sing365.com/music/Lyric.nsf/The-Blower
Mandy ~ 7:49 PM