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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
OMFSM
Oh my flying spaghetti monster... that's MY god :D So... I was doing good. It'd been 2 days since I last cried over Dane and then I got a call tonight. Karen... no, not Dane's mom although my heart did skip a beat when I heard the name but the dance instructor at the Y. She'd called asking if Dane and I would dance for this couple's competition after she saw our ariels for swing dancing and was so impressed. I regrettedly informed her that he'd broken up with me and that's why we stopped going to class. She asked if there was any way we'd still dance and I told her that he hasn't even tried to contact me in almost 2 weeks so I highly doubted it. While I was on the phone my eyes started watering and as soon as I clicked it off the tears started flowing.
Oh, FSM, why do you mock me, sending me such horribly tauntful reminders of what I had with Dane? He would never dance with me again. It's far over. The way it should've never started. I've been waking up in the middle of the night and jotting down poems that come to me in dreams and one is something like...
When your smile fell upon her eyes
The deaf swore on their fallen ears they could hear
Your voice
And the blind saw the sight
Even before the fight
Everyone could see
Everyone but me...
Deaf the silence
and blind the glance
Realized mute was you
When the words were only true
The weirdest thing was I was singing all of this in the dream. I vaguely remember it but if I definitely was alone in the house I would've just gotten up and went straight to the piano and played it all out and wrote it down. Unfortunately, I would've woken everyone up so instead, I just let myself forget it all.
There are supposedly 4 or 5 days left (I don't really know) until Dane will talk to me again and I can't take it. I won't be able to see his face or even utter a word in his direction. He's hurt me so badly that just seeing him will put me back from my recovery from what he did to me. I'm so lucky that I haven't seen him since.
Oh my flying spaghetti monster... that's MY god :D So... I was doing good. It'd been 2 days since I last cried over Dane and then I got a call tonight. Karen... no, not Dane's mom although my heart did skip a beat when I heard the name but the dance instructor at the Y. She'd called asking if Dane and I would dance for this couple's competition after she saw our ariels for swing dancing and was so impressed. I regrettedly informed her that he'd broken up with me and that's why we stopped going to class. She asked if there was any way we'd still dance and I told her that he hasn't even tried to contact me in almost 2 weeks so I highly doubted it. While I was on the phone my eyes started watering and as soon as I clicked it off the tears started flowing.
Oh, FSM, why do you mock me, sending me such horribly tauntful reminders of what I had with Dane? He would never dance with me again. It's far over. The way it should've never started. I've been waking up in the middle of the night and jotting down poems that come to me in dreams and one is something like...
When your smile fell upon her eyes
The deaf swore on their fallen ears they could hear
Your voice
And the blind saw the sight
Even before the fight
Everyone could see
Everyone but me...
Deaf the silence
and blind the glance
Realized mute was you
When the words were only true
The weirdest thing was I was singing all of this in the dream. I vaguely remember it but if I definitely was alone in the house I would've just gotten up and went straight to the piano and played it all out and wrote it down. Unfortunately, I would've woken everyone up so instead, I just let myself forget it all.
There are supposedly 4 or 5 days left (I don't really know) until Dane will talk to me again and I can't take it. I won't be able to see his face or even utter a word in his direction. He's hurt me so badly that just seeing him will put me back from my recovery from what he did to me. I'm so lucky that I haven't seen him since.
Mandy ~ 5:16 PM